Spam, spam, spam, spam – is it time for an autobiography?

Another treasure, an offer one can not possibly reject, found in my junk folder. The "Oasis Publishing Group" wants to cherish my "outstanding contribution to the scientific community" with an autobiography.

The business model of obscure and predatory science publishers diversifies. Over a decade ago, one of my colleagues was caught in a pretty fraud by a company who offered a listing with a longer biosketch in some scientist index. A service that turned out to be very poorly done and quite costly; of course, it didn't say anything about that in any of the fishing and preparatory mails before (they also con.

From Lauren ( to me

Dear Dr. Guido W Grimm,

I am Lauren Reed, Editorial assistant from Oasis Publishing Group Ltd. contacting you with the reference from our editorial department. Basing on your outstanding [true and tremenduously great] contribution to the scientific community, we would like to write your autobiography. [I'm not even close to death ... I hope ...]

Researchers like you are adding so much value to the scientific community [oh, yes, we do!], yet you are not getting enough exposure [I did not?]. No matter how many papers you publish in famous journals [not too many, I admit], you will be still unknown to common people [Really? Common people have never heard of me? Scandalous. On the other hand, why should they?]. To solve this problem, we came up with this unique solution [...hoping that you're are equally stupid as vain to pay for it].

With our autobiography service, we will write your autobiography along with your research contributions in common man’s language [that should be interesting to read, there are millions who would like to know more e.g. about tiny pollen grains from the Cretaceous but can't understand a word of what we wrote]. We will also include all your published papers into this book [rather a booklet] in way that a common man [and what about women and 'non-binary' commoners?] can understand it. And then, we will publish your book with our publishing group [of course, for no price at all, I suppose?!]. Before, publication, we will send the draft to you for scientific accuracy, once you approve our draft, we then proceed for publication [Hurrah!]. You will get all the rights of your book, and all the sales generated from your book, will be credited to you [Hm, and what do you get out of it? Somebody has to pay your office's rent, too, no?].

Your autobiography will be listed in famous websites like Amazon, Ebay, Goodreads and many other popular book websites [sure thing]. As a result, you will get good credibility [Do you want to insinuate, I have none or too little of it?] and people will recognize your hard work [Too late, I'm afraid, xxx days out of professional science] and your scientific contributions [About time, the "common people" realise what they mean for a better world! Literally nothing].

Last but not least, after the publication of your book, it will be published in Google News, Yahoo and other major news channels [like any other irrelevant information]. What more can you ask for? [Peace on Earth, pot of gold, basic income, a new Star Trek series and free access to the old ones, more VOST in French cinemas ... Also nice would be any information about what this "autobiography service" will cost me.]

All we need is your book writing contract, and you will get all the rights for your book.

Will be waiting to hear from you [and Godot, want to make a bet who'll be first?].
Best Regards,
Lauren Reed.

Not entriely unrelated, the original spam song of Monty Python on their YouTube channel. Yes, they coined the term that we all use for mails like the one above.

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